Do This 1 Thing Before You Leave To Ensure A Peaceful Family Vacation

Vacations are supposed to be a time to get away from work, but it turns out that doing a bit of work before you leave is the key to making family vacations truly relaxing.

The trick to preventing the kind of whining, complaining and bickering that can quickly sour a trip is to hold a family meeting before you go to discuss the vacation plan and set clear expectations.

When kids feel included in decision-making and like their needs are considered, they are much more likely to behave cooperatively, thus allowing parents to relax. With all the time, effort and money that a vacation entails, you’ll want to make sure that you’re reaping some of the many rewards that family travel can offer.

“A family spending time together and experiencing new areas and activities without the stress of a daily work or school schedule is invaluable,” said Jeni Chaffer of Journeys Travel.

Time together, away from the daily grind, is a precious commodity.

“For my family and so many of my clients, vacation time is the only time we get to leave behind the busy and simply be together having fun,” said Kayla LeClerc of Whimsical Wishes Travel.

Chaffer and LeClerc are among a number of travel professionals, many of whom are members of the American Society of Travel Advisors, that HuffPost spoke to about how a family meeting can set the stage for a smooth, low-stress trip.

This is a one-time meeting to create a sort of family bucket list when it comes to travel.

“Making this list together gives everyone an opportunity to have input,” said Christie Holmes of Mi Familia Internacional.

Choose who will have the deciding vote on a certain milestone celebration trip, like Dad’s 50th birthday trip or a child’s graduation, for example.

Then, every year leading up to the trip, Holmes suggested that the person who will oversee logistics map out the trips that the family will take during specific vacation times.

“This will give you the jump on high-season travel,” Holmes told HuffPost.

Once you know where you’re going and when, you can have a yearly planning meeting to discuss destinations and activities for each trip, along with any further research you need to do.

Sonia Bhagwan of Dream Vacations said that if a family is choosing among destinations, it can be helpful for parents to “create a special list of things you’ve researched — activities and experiences [kids] may enjoy at each place.”

The goal is to “plan a trip that has something of interest for each family member,” Holmes said. She recalled one family that figured out how to incorporate a stop at an indoor water park into their father’s World War II history trip to Germany.

“It’s important everyone feels listened to and gets to do what they want,” said Melissa Sanchez of Spellbound Vacations. Chaffer noted that this can be particularly helpful for neurodivergent kids.

“A family meeting can also validate or invalidate assumptions of what a parent thinks is important to a child but actually is not,” said Christy Slavik of Mom Approved Travel. She gave the example of a parent assuming that a child wants to do a meal with a favorite character at Disney, “when in fact all they want to do is take a quick picture with Mickey and ride the rides.”

Gina Guerrero of Growing Legs Travel seconded this, saying, “Sometimes, we as parents go much farther than the kids would have wanted in the first place. Many kids’ expectations are lower than we realize.”

Depending on their ages, you may want to let your kids make some of the day-to-day decisions. For example, each child could get a chance to choose a restaurant for dinner or a type of cuisine they’d like to eat.

The meeting “is also a great time to see who may not want to participate in parts of the trip so alternative activities can be planned,” said James Kitchen of Seas 2 Day & Travel. One parent might head to a museum with one sibling, while the other takes younger kids to the pool for the afternoon, for instance.

This is also a time to “discuss limitations,” Holmes said. These might include “time zone changes, jet lag and living in close quarters.”

Additionally, it’s important to check the fine print, especially for entry requirements or age restrictions for specific sites or attractions, said Jennifer Hardy of Cruise Planners.

“When a family doesn’t properly prepare for their vacation, it allows hiccups to become more significant challenges,” Hardy told HuffPost.

A couple of advisers also mentioned the importance of planning sufficient downtime and rest for kids. Adults often have an agenda and are eager to pack in as much activity as possible, but kids often don’t share this kind of drive.

Here, you’ll continue to lay the groundwork for a smooth trip by providing clear expectations. Here are some of the things you may wish to cover.

• Review the itinerary. “With digital itineraries, each person can download an app to their phone,” Holmes said. “This way, everyone knows what is happening each day. And they do not nag mom!” Also, make sure kids know which activities were planned at their request. “This will remind them they have a stake in planning and give them something to look forward to,” Holmes said.

• Discuss daily logistics. Will breakfast be at the hotel, lunch purchased on the go and dinner in a restaurant, or are you staying someplace with a kitchen and making most meals there? What hours is the pool open and what time(s) each day will you swim?

• Address concerns. Talk through any concerns your kids may have, point out challenges in advance and plan ways that you can cope. For example, you might want to bring an eye mask and earplugs for an overnight flight or save a new iPad game for a long layover. Holmes suggested talking about where you may experience crowds or long lines and how you will deal with them.

• Review packing needs and limitations. Perhaps, like Holmes, you have a “you pack it, you carry it” rule. Make a checklist of necessities, such as good walking shoes and sunscreen.

• Set screentime expectations. Will the rules be the same as at home? What are reasonable limits, given your schedule? Will there be places with — gasp! — no WiFi? Try to prepare kids in advance.
• Discuss rules. Will you stick to routines like bedtimes, quiet hours and no snacking before meals? Or will some of these constraints need to be loosened based on your plans?
• Go over safety concerns. Chaffer suggested that you take this time to discuss matters such as protecting valuables, staying together in a crowd and who to go to for help.
• Set a souvenir budget. This can put an end to the daily haggling at each and every destination. Perhaps kids have to use their own money. You might even try asking them what they think a fair per-person limit would be. Kids can be remarkably thoughtful when asked about these matters in advance.

• Talk about the culture of the destination. “Are there things you need to be mindful of with dress or behavior?” Holmes recommended asking. For example, when traveling in Thailand, I always carried a shawl with me (in spite of the heat) in order to cover my shoulders when entering temples.

• Ask everyone what they are looking forward to. This can drum up excitement and remind everyone how they’re invested in this particular trip.

Of course, no matter how thorough your family meeting is, not every part of your trip will proceed exactly as planned. Coping with the unexpected is a part of the adventure and can be a valuable learning experience. The act of traveling itself can help kids grow.

“When there is a flight delay or unexpected travel annoyance, children learn resilience, problem solving and how to handle tough situations in settings that they may not necessarily be familiar with or comfortable in,” said Hana Seyoum of World of Possibilities Travel.