Are You Dealing With ‘Contagious Anxiety’? Here’s How To Spot The Toxic Emotion.

You’re likely well-aware that colds and the flu are contagious, and probably know that lice and ringworm fall into the contagious category, too. But what about anxiety? Have you ever considered the emotion as a contagion?

It turns out you should ― there is such a thing as “contagious anxiety.” “Our nervous system is constantly picking up on these energies around us and trying to sync with whoever is near us at the time,” said Jaclyn Bencivenga, a licensed mental health counselor with Thriveworks in Fort Lauderdale.

For example, when a co-worker has a negative attitude about work and they’re venting to you, you’re more likely to be negative as well. Or if your partner is worried about missing a flight, you’ll probably feel those emotions, too. The same goes for bigger feelings like anxiety.

“Contagious anxiety can happen in the context of being in close proximity with someone, or it could also happen in a larger context, like at a grocery store. For example, if you’ll remember the great toilet paper panic of COVID ― when even just going to the store or hearing that other people were buying toilet paper ― it’s like all of a sudden it incited that anxiety in all of us,” said Carrie Howard, a licensed clinical social worker and anxiety coach who is based in Texas but provides services to clients worldwide.

Contagious anxiety can also happen in online and social media interactions, Howard added. If your entire social feed is about an impending storm, you’re only going to feel more and more anxious as you see constant updates about it.

“Humans are social beings, we are deeply wired to recognize and respond to emotional signals, especially when it comes to the detection of danger,” Howard explained. “If someone near us is anxious, we may instinctively assume they’re detecting some sort of threat that we’re not yet aware of, and then we begin to share that person’s vigilance to keep ourselves safe as well.”

For our caveman ancestors, that anxiety may have picked up on a wildlife threat. Now, though, the anxiety we’re picking up is likely related to something that isn’t life or death ― like a missed train or a frantic email from a boss.

“I think we’re, in part, always assuming, ‘gosh, well, if these people are freaked out, then I have to be freaked out too — maybe I’m missing something that they’re seeing,’” Howard added.

There’s one major sign that you’re taking on someone else’s anxiety.

Let’s say you’re feeling good, and all of a sudden when you start talking to someone, you start to have sweaty palms, racing thoughts and heavy breathing — “you start to, out of nowhere, get these symptoms that you would have never felt otherwise, but because there is somebody projecting those at you, you start to feel those,” Bencivenga said. “That would be a good sign that you’re catching on to what they’re feeling.”

It’s that sudden shift in mood to feeling anxious after being around someone or interacting with someone online, added Howard.

For instance, if you have a work project you’re completely prepared for yet your co-worker spouts off her worries about the project, you’ll probably second-guess your own work and end up feeling stressed and anxious as a result.

With day-to-day anxiety, you likely know what’s causing it — maybe it’s a tough conversation you need to have with your partner or a bill that’s coming due. The same can’t be said for contagious anxiety, though.

“You might also have a sense that you’re anxious, but don’t fully understand why, and this could be because you’re watching someone feel anxious, and then taking on their anxiety as your own,” Howard noted.

You also might notice an unexplained feeling of dread or a sense that’s something is wrong, she said.

“It could be because you’re absorbing what someone nearby is experiencing,” Howard said.

According to Bencivenga, setting boundaries can be a helpful way to combat contagious anxiety from a friend, family or co-worker. You can do this by limiting conversation topics, for instance.

“Don’t be afraid to just say: This is making me feel a little uncomfortable right now. How are you feeling about it? Should we talk about something else?” Bencivenga suggested.

You could also redirect the conversation in a less forward, yet equally effective way by talking about something positive instead. You can acknowledge that the person is feeling stressed but quickly change the topic to something like exciting news you heard or a TV show you’re loving.

That way, “you’re getting out of that anxious conversation and [talking about] something more calm so you re-regulate in your system,” Bencivenga added.

“If the conversation isn’t going to stop, it’s OK to also just get up and take a five-minute breather … go to the bathroom and get yourself together and think positively,” she said.

Take this time to regroup and remind yourself that these anxious thoughts from another person are not typically thoughts you have and are usually not an issue for you, Bencivenga said. Similarly, if something online is contributing to your contagious anxiety, limit your social media use, Howard noted.

Mindfulness and grounding techniques can also be useful, Howard said. “Instead of letting someone else’s sense of anxiety carry you away into catastrophic thinking, bring yourself back into the present moment by reminding yourself that right here, right now, you’re safe,” Howard explained.

You can do this by connecting with your sense using a grounding technique known as the 54321 method. “This is where you’ll look around and identify five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste in your immediate environment,” Howard said.

“Anxiety at its core is your nervous system not feeling safe,” Howard said. “So, think about what you can do to move through that anxious energy that’s surging through your body and also send signals of safety to your brain.”

This could look like doing a workout, going for a walk, practicing deep breathing or meditation. Co-regulation can also be a good way to calm your nervous system down, Howard said.

“So, in a similar way that anxiety can spread from person-to-person, a sense of calm and well-being can absolutely spread from person-to-person as well,” she said.

We live in an anxious world so it’s totally reasonable to think that you’ll face contagious anxiety on a regular basis. To combat that, find your community of calm people who can help you feel soothed.