Kids Aren’t Bored Anymore. Here’s Why That’s A Problem.

Thinking back to the summers of their own childhood, millennial parents probably remember eating popsicles, drinking from the garden hose and chasing friends on bicycles. Sure, there was also plenty of time spent staring at a screen: the television. In middle school, if there was a “Real World” marathon on MTV, I often spent hours glued to the couch … but eventually I’d find nothing but reruns, which would lead me to that old vacation refrain: “I’m bo-red!”

A few decades later, I pack my own kids’ summers with pricey camps (being that I have to, you know, work), but it isn’t these wholesome group activities that keep their boredom at bay. It’s their screens. There’s no such thing as reruns in the infinite scrolling offered by TikTok and YouTube, no limit to the amount of novel images they can consume.

We know that social media poses risks to teens’ mental health — so much so that the surgeon general has proposed cigarette-style warning labels for it. There is the possibility of bullying and of teens finding dangerous content that promotes self-harming behaviors. There’s also the loss of what kids aren’t doing while they are online: reading books, engaging face-to-face with others, being active outdoors — and surviving bouts of boredom.

We may cringe when we hear a child say that they’re bored, but the truth is that boredom has a number of benefits. We talked to experts about the importance of boredom and ways to help your kids achieve this now-elusive state.

We can think of boredom as a sort of blank canvas: There’s not much to see, but the possibilities are endless.

“Boredom is, on one hand, the lack of stimulation or arousal in interest or engagement. On the other hand, boredom is spaciousness for our brain; it’s a place of freedom and openness in which our brain has time to run wild and relax,” Eric Mill, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-founder of Relatable, told HuffPost.

Boredom can “be caused by a lack of stimulation or a transitory feeling of ennui— feeling listless or lethargic,” Suzanne Barchers, a psychologist and the education advisory board chair at Lingokids, told HuffPost. Ennui is memorably brought to life in the new “Inside Out 2” movie as a languorous, perennially unimpressed teen who drapes her lanky body over a sofa.

“Most boredom experienced by children or teens is situational, a condition that can improve with activity, exercise, deep thinking, meditation or a simple change of pace,” Barchers said.

In other words, kids can usually snap out of their boredom with a simple distraction. A directive to clean their rooms can also provide motivation for them to seek out something — anything — else to do.

We may think of boredom as an unpleasant state, but when well-harnessed, it can lead to a meaningful end.

“Many of us have happy memories of loafing in a hammock, staring at the clouds, swinging at the playground or riding a bike when our thoughts wander or turn to our future. Those moments of quiet can lead to self-reflection, fresh ideas, creativity or the solution to a nagging problem,” Barchers said.

Boredom can prompt creative breakthroughs. It can give our mind space to “run wild … time to make new connections, think of things in a new way, rather than walking the path laid out for us,” Mill said.

We can also see boredom as downtime for our brains. “Boredom gives our kids’
brains a chance to take a break, to breathe, wander, to pause for a moment, and slow down,” Mill said. Boredom, like sleep, gives our brain a chance to process and integrate new information.

“We download and integrate new ideas, solidifying new neural pathways,” Mill explained. The trick here is letting our minds wander rather than immediately turning to our phones when we find ourselves unoccupied.

“Boredom can push you to fill your time more productively,” Barchers said. Boredom at a job might motivate an adult to look for more fulfilling work, for example. A child might decide to see if a neighbor is around to play. “Boredom can remind you that doing something with a friend can be quite satisfying,” Barchers said.

Having that blank canvas and being at a remove from all the usual distractions also gives us a chance to discover what motivates us internally. We may find the kind of clarity that people seek in practices such as meditation.

“We aren’t reacting to stimuli; we are acting from who we want to be,” Mill said. “We get a chance to create who we are.”

Learning to tolerate more modest amounts of boredom is also a basic life skill, one that makes things like school and chores possible, Mill said. “It’s on the pathway to frustration tolerance,” he explained, which kids will need to develop in order to meet their goals.

“Kids need to be able to move through boredom to get their needs met by themselves. This is a key to growing up,” Mill said.

Of course, boredom does have real downsides. The things kids find to occupy themselves aren’t always positive ones, and their options are usually dictated by social class. Not all kids have a yard or a safe neighborhood to play in, and some lack the presence of a caring adult to help guide them toward appropriate activities.

“Socioeconomic status and parental involvement play a big role in boredom/engagement and ultimately mental health of kids over the summer,” Sabrina Nasta, a Florida therapist with Grow Therapy, told HuffPost.

“Summer can be such a positive experience for kids that have resources, access to other children, camps and activities, and the attention of their parents during the extended period of time off during the summer. But for kids that lack those things, summer can be a time when they are more socially isolated and susceptible to depression and even exploration of engaging in unhealthy behaviors and habits,” Nasta said. Barchers noted that chronic boredom can be a symptom of depression.

A parent telling a child, “Find something to do!” may seem like a simple interaction — even one where the parent gets a break. But parents frequently put in a lot of preparatory work in order to give kids a safer space to explore their boredom. They may have set digital devices to turn off at a certain time and provided things like grade-level books, art supplies and a fridge full of kid-friendly snacks within their child’s reach. With the stage carefully set, kids are able to be successfully independent and pursue their interests. Parents without resources and support aren’t able to offer the same kind of nurturing space for their kids to wander in boredom.

Today’s parents have to overcome a big challenge when it comes to helping their kids contend with their boredom: getting them off their screens.

“Screens are designed to prey on boredom,” Mill said. The “algorithm,” he explained, is “constantly trying to get your attention back again and again.”

“Over time, this vying for our attention erodes our ability to stay bored and present,” Mill explained. So not only do kids need our help getting off of their screens, but they will also need support in learning to tolerate the resulting boredom.

Here are some things that parents can do to help kids experience boredom.

• Program devices to limit screen time. This way, instead of having to convince your child to turn off their device, it will cut them off automatically.
• Stick to rules about keeping screens away from the dinner table (to encourage conversation) and the bedroom (to promote healthy sleep). The key is that parents have to follow these rules, too, and set their own phones aside.
• Plan opportunities for kids to experience boredom by scheduling screen-free down-time. Barchers suggested having a family meeting to talk about how everyone will spend their time during summer vacation.
• Explain that screens are a challenge for everyone. “Let them know screens are designed to be hard to put down. So the resistance to ending screen time is normal. Share with them how you feel the same pull,” Mill said.
• Take kids outdoors as much as possible. “The greatest place for a boredom cure is outside, where slow things are interesting,” Mill said.
• Talk to them about boredom. Validate that it can be hard to tolerate, and model how you handle your own boredom. Mill suggested you say something like, “This might be tricky, but I’ll find a way to be with it. Boredom can be hard and good at the same time. … Let’s see.. Maybe I’ll go outside and watch the clouds pass by, or maybe I’ll draw a little bit.”
• Take on “slow hobbies,” like bird-watching or doing large puzzles, in which you can include your children.
• Offer a few general suggestions, like “read a book” or the parent-favorite “clean your room.” However, “make it clear that solving the boredom problem is up to the child,” Barchers said.
• Create an “anti-boredom jar”: Barchers suggested including ideas to spur kids’ creativity, such as “making birthday cards out of art supplies, creating a scavenger hunt, planning a backyard play, putting on a circus that shows off your physical skills, learning and demonstrating magic tricks, walking the dog, helping an elderly neighbor with a project, learning a new language, reading and comparing a book to the movie version.”