35 Too-Real Tweets About Shopping For School Supplies

After all the time and effort spent shopping for school supplies, every parent is secretly hoping to receive this message:

Please accept this humble missive as a token of my gratitude for your truly superlative performance with this year’s back-to-school shopping list.

All of the notebook paper you provided was college ruled, and your folders were the correct twelve colors. You got the good crayons, the soft tissues and the disinfecting wipes that don’t cut your fingers when you try to take them out. You remembered the difference between a protractor and a compass. All the pencils you provided were pre-sharpened. Every one of your glue sticks is moist. You managed to discover shades of highlighters that I’ve never even heard of, and the pencil case you selected withstood being run over by a monster truck during product testing.

Congratulations on this historic accomplishment. Our school community, and indeed, our nation, could really use more parents like you.

Alas, no teacher has ever sent such a note. Here are 35 tweets about the thankless job of procuring school supplies for children.